Time

Our lack of wireless internet connected had allowed me to have a series of reflecting about the life I'm living. And it has been a while since I've thought about the things that seemed so unimportant days ago.

I was thinking of my Mom. Yesterday, we were talking in the bedroom about my 18th birthday. Little did she know that I paid less attention to our subject and more on her. Observing my relatives was a rare thing for me to do, it never really occurred to me that they could be the subject of interest when I people-watch. But yesterday was different from any other day.

I watched my Mom as she talked with wariness in her voice. I knew she was tired. The creases on each side of her eyes are so apparent compared to how it was days, months, years ago. This was how time reminded me that it's always there, and it's never stopping for anyone or anything.

My heart started to sink.

It was hard watching her, really observing. Her hair was thinning, her limbs had often hurt nowadays. She was undeniably growing old. And I was, too.

This seems like such a big deal for me, because I grew up very close to her, along with her two sisters and a very close family friend that we now considered our Aunt too.

Mom wasn't the only person I observed yesterday. Because I was so curious about what it feels to see the people you love getting marked by time, I decided to go and see my Aunts too.

The feeling wasn't—at all—different. It was just twice the heart-sinking moment when you realise that things will never be the same in a few years.

How I wish I could turn back time (or better, go back in time). I just...I don't want to see them grow old and...

I really just can't.