The words escape
her lips, so pale
like the colour of paper
like the fog on a chilly night
Without thought
she allows herself
to drift off for the night
11:11
She still ought to believe
every wish might come true
The good, the bad
Her eyes are tired
like a warrior
fresh from a battle,
like a sleepless soul
Let it end
the words spill out
like blood,
the pain never ends
It is always there
never disappearing.
With a final breath
She lets herself fall
to slumber for the rest of eternity.
Monday, 22 July 2013
Saturday, 13 July 2013
Point of Exhaltation
Lately, I have been feeling nothing but accepted, important, a person who matters. And this is good because of so many reasons. For a long time, the only thing that I've thought about is how unappreciated I am. It turns out that I'm wrong.
I'm not unappreciated.
In fact, there are people out there who'd spend two hours of their lives with me just because. There are people who thinks I'm fun, and nice, and friendly. I'm not surprised that it took me this long to figure out how much I matter in this world. Too much time had been wasted, just looking on the dark side of everything.
So now, my life is on a point wherein things are just in equilibrium. There good days, and there are bad ones. But it's nothing that can't be fixed with a nice cup of tea and a good night sleep.
People will come and go, people will change.
Most importantly, friendships aren't exactly strengthened by the fact that you like the same exact things. In fact, its foundation is taken from the fact that all of you like so many different things yet you get along so well.
I can now say that I've surrounded myself with people better than me, therefore now I'm better too.
I'm not unappreciated.
In fact, there are people out there who'd spend two hours of their lives with me just because. There are people who thinks I'm fun, and nice, and friendly. I'm not surprised that it took me this long to figure out how much I matter in this world. Too much time had been wasted, just looking on the dark side of everything.
So now, my life is on a point wherein things are just in equilibrium. There good days, and there are bad ones. But it's nothing that can't be fixed with a nice cup of tea and a good night sleep.
People will come and go, people will change.
Most importantly, friendships aren't exactly strengthened by the fact that you like the same exact things. In fact, its foundation is taken from the fact that all of you like so many different things yet you get along so well.
I can now say that I've surrounded myself with people better than me, therefore now I'm better too.
Thursday, 4 July 2013
Inequality
Today, I experienced one of the sad things everyone goes through in each of their lifetime. Realisations.
My mind's been working, winding itself up nonstop today y'know? It's just going and going on about life; what is wrong and what is right, should I stop or should I not.
The feeling of being unappreciated, or at least under-appreciated, just doesn't go away no matter how I try to push it away and feel good about myself. It's like a wanting that's never fulfilled. I just want this, I just want that. Truthfully, I just want people to show a little (or more, I guess) appreciation. But we don't get everything we want. Well, maybe rich people do; nothing against the fortunate though. Anyway, this is life.
I appreciate, show love, respect other people a little too much sometimes and subconsciously expects to be given with the same amount of appreciation, love and respect in return. Obviously, I don't get that often.
People can't even remember my name. They can't even remember my face. So that's that. In the future, I will still be perpetually sad about some things in life; things like this. Because it's always the simple things that I pay attention to, yet no one ever seems to get it right.
And that's what you missed, on Glee.
My mind's been working, winding itself up nonstop today y'know? It's just going and going on about life; what is wrong and what is right, should I stop or should I not.
The feeling of being unappreciated, or at least under-appreciated, just doesn't go away no matter how I try to push it away and feel good about myself. It's like a wanting that's never fulfilled. I just want this, I just want that. Truthfully, I just want people to show a little (or more, I guess) appreciation. But we don't get everything we want. Well, maybe rich people do; nothing against the fortunate though. Anyway, this is life.
I appreciate, show love, respect other people a little too much sometimes and subconsciously expects to be given with the same amount of appreciation, love and respect in return. Obviously, I don't get that often.
People can't even remember my name. They can't even remember my face. So that's that. In the future, I will still be perpetually sad about some things in life; things like this. Because it's always the simple things that I pay attention to, yet no one ever seems to get it right.
And that's what you missed, on Glee.
Wednesday, 3 July 2013
Time
Our lack of wireless internet connected had allowed me to have a series of reflecting about the life I'm living. And it has been a while since I've thought about the things that seemed so unimportant days ago.
I was thinking of my Mom. Yesterday, we were talking in the bedroom about my 18th birthday. Little did she know that I paid less attention to our subject and more on her. Observing my relatives was a rare thing for me to do, it never really occurred to me that they could be the subject of interest when I people-watch. But yesterday was different from any other day.
I watched my Mom as she talked with wariness in her voice. I knew she was tired. The creases on each side of her eyes are so apparent compared to how it was days, months, years ago. This was how time reminded me that it's always there, and it's never stopping for anyone or anything.
My heart started to sink.
It was hard watching her, really observing. Her hair was thinning, her limbs had often hurt nowadays. She was undeniably growing old. And I was, too.
This seems like such a big deal for me, because I grew up very close to her, along with her two sisters and a very close family friend that we now considered our Aunt too.
Mom wasn't the only person I observed yesterday. Because I was so curious about what it feels to see the people you love getting marked by time, I decided to go and see my Aunts too.
The feeling wasn't—at all—different. It was just twice the heart-sinking moment when you realise that things will never be the same in a few years.
How I wish I could turn back time (or better, go back in time). I just...I don't want to see them grow old and...
I really just can't.
I was thinking of my Mom. Yesterday, we were talking in the bedroom about my 18th birthday. Little did she know that I paid less attention to our subject and more on her. Observing my relatives was a rare thing for me to do, it never really occurred to me that they could be the subject of interest when I people-watch. But yesterday was different from any other day.
I watched my Mom as she talked with wariness in her voice. I knew she was tired. The creases on each side of her eyes are so apparent compared to how it was days, months, years ago. This was how time reminded me that it's always there, and it's never stopping for anyone or anything.
My heart started to sink.
It was hard watching her, really observing. Her hair was thinning, her limbs had often hurt nowadays. She was undeniably growing old. And I was, too.
This seems like such a big deal for me, because I grew up very close to her, along with her two sisters and a very close family friend that we now considered our Aunt too.
Mom wasn't the only person I observed yesterday. Because I was so curious about what it feels to see the people you love getting marked by time, I decided to go and see my Aunts too.
The feeling wasn't—at all—different. It was just twice the heart-sinking moment when you realise that things will never be the same in a few years.
How I wish I could turn back time (or better, go back in time). I just...I don't want to see them grow old and...
I really just can't.
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